she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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