Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
