I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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