searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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