It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
