There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
