Don't make out with my wife yet
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
