she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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