I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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