Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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