very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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