i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
