She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
