I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
