i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
