soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
