question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I know her cup size but not her name....
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
