I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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