I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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