I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
