god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
50% drunk capacity currently
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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