Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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