I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
