READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
