i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i would one night stand the shit outta him
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
