High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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