Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
