Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
