If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
