I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
