i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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