i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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