We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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