your thong is hanging out like whoa
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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