Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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