He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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