this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
