Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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