Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
please come you make the beer taste better
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
