the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
