I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
