i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize