I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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