Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
