Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
