The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
