It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
that is very illegal...i love you.
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