OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
