What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
