The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
