so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I got inside last night via doggy door
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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