It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
